Do you bleed for the fantasy?

What is the one word that perfectly describes your day today?
submitted by [this is connie]

Slow.

I woke up at like 11:15am this morning and it's only 1:24pm. It seriously feels like it's been a whole day. I ate breakfast, drove to the gas station to get gas, sat on my computer FOREVER, got ready for work, and now I'm sitting on my computer AGAIN. I don't know what I did, but I got ready extremely fast which worries me because I think I may have forgotten something. I really hope I didn't forget anything. I was considering leaving for work a little early but I really don't want to be there yet. I hope work doesn't go by too slowly.

What are you most looking forward to in August?

I'm most looking forward to moving into my apartment with Alyssa. Oh, that and not having school. And I don't mind living at home because I'll be closer to all of my friends, I just don't like it. At least it's better than living in the Towers :\

A recent study suggests that radiation from cell phones may cause cancer; what, if any, cell phone usage precautions will you take in light of this information?
Submitted by Tim.

None. Except maybe text more. I love my phone too much.

Where do you go for advice?

I go to my friends for advice. They're the people who know me best and can give me the best advice. Better than any psychiatrist could.

Okay first off, I have tagged all of you in this blog because Nathan is a liar. He will fucking spoon-feed lies to you all and make me look like the bad guy when he has been all along the scum of the earth. I want you all to know the truth behind this and why him and I will [truthfully and honestly] never be together again.

Let's rewind to a little over a year ago. Everyone who knows me knows what happened then. He "emotionally cheated" [I don't know what the fuck to call it but it was definitely wrong] on me with another girl. This particular girl happened to be my future roommate.

Let's fast forward back to Memorial Day and four break-ups later. I get ridiculously drunk with my new found friends and I'm single. Well, one of my new friends brought some guys with us that she was interested in. Friendly me made friends with him and she didn't like that. I got too drunk to drive home and he wasn't drunk at all so he had to drive. I [understandably] wanted to sit in the front seat of my own car while she threw a fit because she couldn't sit next to him. She was already pissed that he showed more interest in me than he did her so of course she's going to throw a fit. She called me many mean names and we left the beach without her. Alyssa is wasted as well but she has to go to work. So this guy drives her home to her car and they both leave me in my car at this girl's house. I'm so drunk I'm passed out in my car. When I get the strength to call someone, I call Nathan. He picked me up even though he had been drinking with his friends and took care of me the rest of the night. I am thankful for what he did for me that day. We got back together later that night.

Alyssa and I stopped talking to this girl for a little while until she apologized to Alyssa so Alyssa started talking to her. I was not happy with her. Finally one night we all go out and this girl was there. I felt bad because we're friends with all the same people so I decided to make up with her. I didn't care about the guy anyway so it wasn't a big deal except for the fact that she was a complete bitch to me that day. That's also the day Nathan and this girl meet. This girl is a conniving bitch. She will do whatever it takes to get what she wants and fuck [figuratively and literally] everyone else around her.

Nathan understandably befriends her on Facebook. Okay I don't care about that. Then he starts talking to her. I'm a little weird about him talking to her and Alyssa because of what happened a year before. Thinking of him talking to these girls reminds me of what happened and it gets me all depressed and makes me mad at the same time. He starts to not talk to Alyssa so much because that was the one I had a major problem with [very VERY similar: I didn't know Alyssa or Amanda very well yet I am and was supposed to be living with them if that makes any sense and this was all happening around the same time of year]. So I guess he just decided to talk to Sarah. All of the time. Each and every time she gets online. Well he's been telling me she looks and sounds like a man, which she does. I guess word got to her that that's what he thinks and they talked about it and he told her he thought she was hot and he only lied to me about it because he thinks I'm paranoid and he wanted to keep face with his friends. That's right friends of his. He thinks Sarah is hot. He lied to you all as well. Anyways moving on. They also talked about how if he weren't dating me, he would date her. Big no no.

According to Nathan "I guess our biggest problem is i feel i can be more open and friendly wits your friends and you can do the same wits mine. For example if you were to talk to sean and tell him if you weren't dating me you could date him i would be fine because i know you love me and you wouldn't ever cheat on me and i guess that is where we differ because you don't share the same comfortability that i do and i haven't been caring enough towards your feelings about it. And im really sorry i wasn't trying to hurt you or  cheat on you. I would never dream of doing that to you and im sorry that i did."

I call bullshit on that. The whole thing. He's not sorry. I read the conversations between him and Sarah and him and Alyssa and that's NOT what he said when he was talking to them. And okay, I like you all [his friends] and think you're super cool even the chicks even though I had a problem at first because I was jealous he was with you guys instead of me but honestly I think all of you are cool no matter what he has said to you all. I honestly don't even talk to my own friends on the computer because I don't have time, nevertheless talk to you all. I just don't think he should be talking shit about me to MY friends. First of all that's just stupid I'm going to hear what he's saying anyways. Second of all, that's what you guys are for. For him to talk to about this kind of stuff. I don't know if he does or not but he definitely did with my friends. And then he fucking yells at me when I go to my own friends for advice about our relationship. I don't talk shit about him to other people nor do I tell people I would date them if I wasn't with him. I don't think anything he's done is right and he was definitely going on the exact same path he was going on a little over a year ago.

I wrote this to get my thoughts and feelings out there in the open and for everyone to know the truth because Nathan tends to lie. I know that he's told you different things about all of our other breakups than what actually happened. Just like when he pushed me at the beach house that one time and lied about it. Just like when he hit me and pushed me several times at the July 4th party and lied to you all about it. He's just a liar that I just don't want to deal with. Everything he's been saying to me just feels like a lie to me now and I just want nothing to do with him. I'm done with him and that's that. I would love to hang out with any of you or all of you but I won't expect it to happen since you all are closer to him which is understandable. It's been fun knowing you all and please keep in touch with me this time and don't hate me. I'm just doing this for myself because I shouldn't be with someone who keeps doing this to me and playing games with me.

Anyways, I'm single again I guess. Unwillingly. This just hurts so bad. You'd think he'd learn from his mistakes last time wouldn't you?

In honor of the upcoming Olympics, what could you win a gold medal in?
Submitted by TheFiercestCalm.

Nathan says I would win a gold medal in arguing haha.

I would like to think I would win a gold medal in volleyball. Even though I haven't played in like 2 years.

How do you travel to and from work - personal vehicle, bus, subway/train, pedal power? What does it cost you per week in gas or fares?
Submitted by Jan.

Well when Nathan lived with me and he used my parking spot, I was forced to ride my bike to work and then he'd pick me and my bike up when I got off work. And I would ride my bike to the gym and to class and to tan. So basically I got around everyone by bike except when I went home on the weekends.

Now I'm so lazy that at times I drive my car to class. I wish I didn't have the luxury of driving my car places. Maybe I wouldn't be such a lazy fat ass. I always drive my car to work and the gym. I'm too tired all of the time to do it. But then again I think that if I did start riding my bike everywhere I would get a little more energy because it's a form of exercise [actually if I just exercised I might have more energy]. It's kind of a catch 22: you're either too tired to work out, but if you do work out you'll get the energy. If you don't work out you'll be tired again. Seriously I love the way this world works, not.

Oh and The Dark Knight was simply amazing. Seriously. You must go see it everyday. I think I'm going to try to find a bootleg of the movie online so that I can watch it from home.

What is the biggest lie you've told?
Submitted by lazywong.

Obviously if it's a lie I didn't want anyone to know so why would I announce it here?

Just kidding, I'll reference my lies that have been found out. I would say when I lied to Nathan about the 2 months we were both single. Some things happened that I was ashamed of that I lied to him when we got back together so that he wouldn't be hurt. Well, he found out and it hurts him more than it would've had I told him. But I didn't so I can't do anything about it now. He knows I'm sorry and he knows that I only did it for his best interest assuming that he wouldn't ever have to know and that I would have to hold this dirty secret forever and ever making me miserable.

Art history test today! Eek, I'm so nervous. Out of the two weeks we've been lectured for this particular test, I skipped 3 days. 3 days out of 7 days of lecturing. Wow. I'm screwed. I tried studying last night after we got back from Olive Garden for our anniversary :] but I couldn't resist drinking wine while I studied. Eventually I couldn't concentrate on studying anymore. I got the most important stuff studied though. Wish me luck!

How do you choose your Vox neighbors and friends?
Submitted by gcgal.

I used to look at the recent postings and read them and if I liked it I would read a couple of the other postings the author had wrote. If I liked those then I would add them. I don't really do that anymore because I don't have the time. I just use this as an outlet to express how I really feel about things. The thing I like most about Vox is that it has the QotD which kind of jumpstarts my writing and thinking process so I'm not just sitting down at the computer to write an entry. Anyways, I have a quiz in Discrete Structures at 6 and then tonight Nathan and I are going to Olive Garden to celebrate our anniversary and then I have to study for my Art History test tomorrow that I skipped 3 days of! 3 days is more like 6 normal days of a normal semester. I'm kind of nervous about both :\

Okay so another [quick] post. I was just looking at a friend's pictures that I haven't seen or hung out with in FOREVER and she's a year younger than me [not Jaimie or any of that crew lol] and it started getting into pictures of like last days of high school and stuff and I got teary eyed because I miss it. I don't know why but I do. It just seemed life was so much simpler then. I know, a year ago I was saying the exact same thing about college. "Oh it'll be simpler then." I was so wrong. I miss high school, sometimes :'[